Studies on…BAD DAYS

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Day 10.

Although today I wanted to talk to you about love, yesterday brought me so much agitation and so many delays in whatever I wanted to undertake. And that was how all my zen mood disappeared in the darkness and the evening found me under the blanket, powerless, covered in tears of anxiety and fear. Few minutes I would like to steal from your morning today and tell you some words about…BAD DAYS.

Do you remember any of those mornings when you wake up all wrapped up in energy and you jump into the world to solve as many issues as you can, but the moment you step outside your house door, a mountain of events that are betraying your expectation is hitting you shamelessly? And no matter how hard you try to escape from the thousand-one issues, it still does not work. And you stop, without any strength, just like in a glass globe which offers you the chance to see through it but not step into it and feel the emptiness.

I will not tell you we all have bad days because I do know how it is to feel that ONLY YOU have bad days. And it hurts, it hurts because you do have the strong intention, but the walls of people around you are shaping a distance which drains all your energy. Or maybe it is your own wall…the wall of fake expectations out of your control. And so you start to throw with guilt on you, dear reader, and you punish yourself for whatever mistake you just created on your side. I would like you try, for a moment, to honestly answer this question: Don’t you ask for TOO MUCH from yourself? You are a human being, a beautiful being, with just as many daily hours and needs to eat and sleep like all around you. And I do know that the story with “It is impossible” fails right away, because almost ever…it is possible. But what is its price? What is the cost your mind and body have to pay in order to fulfill the overwhelming ambitions, simultaneously?

A too big price. Your health. The life itself. Is it worth?

My honesty pushes me towards identifying myself with such a completely unjustified thinking. I am running, breaking down, the Sun shines again and I forget…I forget I broke down once. And I start all over again, with fire, until my mind and body are tripping me again, give me the lesson of the lost balance. I lost myself in the net of my ambitions and I forgot I lost…I lost me. And any unpredictable situation ends up by exhausting me and making me lose my clarity. Because of just too much. Because of the need of perfection or it all breaks down because of too much weight, sometimes. All of a sudden, my tears become my relief, my (forced) moment of peace, that moment I was talking to you about yesterday. And then I get up and search for solutions. And then I learn to be more compassionate about me and other people. Writing and yoga are my medicine and tomorrow, because, truly, another day with brighter opportunities.

We must learn to let go of negative energies and listen to ourselves more…to treat life with more patience and care. Let’s put aside the anger so we can see the path we should take…Because we will find it and the bad days will become fewer and fewer. They will become out moment of introspection and analysis, keeping untouched out internal calmness and a smile on our faces. Everything is temporary, giving to our souls sources of growth, just like a golden leaf becomes food for the Earth. Nothing is permanent, and so are our problems. Every day is a new given chance and this is what we must be grateful for. This is my main lesson for now.

How do you, beautiful reader, get over a bad day?

See you tomorrow,
Paula

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