Studies on…HAPPINESS

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Day 4.

I am already feeling the smell of weekend relaxation. Friday has become a saint day, the moment when we live the joy of having free time to do the things we love, to spend time with the people that bless our souls…Coincindence or not, today I thought about talking to you on Happiness. Today I am having a lesson with myself as well, cause sometimes I do forget what I have learnt some time ago about happiness…

We take and play it all around and, in the end, we turn to be …empty handed.
I will tell you how I discover happiness, but I state from the very beginning that happiness is truly within you. It is simply a decision. The decision to love yourself unconditionally, and offer yourself complete happiness. It is like a beautiful circle that starts with a first (very joyfull, indeed) decision and this leads to another one which would add more…happiness. And so we shape our life, we shape the reality we end up living.

Since childhood, I have been running like it was a great bird whose flight was intriguing. I grabbed this melodic word in my hands and throw it on the back of other people, like a very, very heavy bag. I would say it was rude, since those people are the one I love. But I’ve made it repeatedly…Yes, I was struggling to find happiness in the attic of burning desire to have a him, a career, more and more friends, or depending on how strong my ego was cuddled.

And so I grew up, in a permanent fight to learn more and more till someone would enlighten me about what happiness is…It all came to an end when I lost them, the ones whose hands I watched getting old while the child within me was becoming a teenager…And if the first loss brought me deep questions, when she left as well for an unknown experience, I received answers. Because happiness is discovered in those moments that are sore, those moments when you undress yourself of judgements and you look at the true finality of life. Then you understand the only thing that you truly owe is you, your soul, your mind. I got drawn in the loss, in the heavy solitude, to just find the true meaning…With a cold heart, as cold as her hand was when no tear was warm enough to sooth it, I allowed my grandma to teach me the last lesso…the lesson of happiness. And she met me in beautiful dreams every time I asked for help, for seeing the truth. And she whispered with her unique voice, while kissing me on my forehead, that I must search for happiness inside me, because I would not find it anywhere else. What a treasury…

And I discovered that the true happiness comes from love, the infinite source that resides within you, because when you forgive and love whatever surrounds you, it means you love yourself. And this is the happiness for me. Forgiveness and dedication to yourself and all those beautiful souls around you. Gratitude for everything I receive, good or bad. I consider it a gift from God, all I need to do is look at it from its natural, meant-to be angle, free of judgment and fears.

Happiness is the infinite love without any conditions. A sunray that warms up the skin on your face, the smell of the beloved one, the smile of your mother, the eyes of a child.

Happiness is being at peace with yourself. Thank you, grandma.

How did you find your happiness, dear reader?

See you tomorrow,
Paula

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