Chapter 11. The eleventh minute(Part two)

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Chapter 11. The eleventh minute(Part two)

[…]

I felt unknown rhythms of breathing around me. Trying to open my eyes, I was fighting against my eyelids that wanted to remain closed. A cold, firm hand grabbed my fingers, telling me:

“Mrs Sal, we will help you recover. You are safe now, tell me if you need anything.”
I was thinking that it was all a dream, but I was hungry, cold and thirsty and while covering my tummy with my hands, I whispered:

“I am cold, we are cold…And thirsty…please, help me, do not leave me alone…”

A warm blanket covered me, giving me such a known feeling…the feeling I used to have when the arms of Oliver were cuddling me with protection and care. A piece of wet bandage cooled down my lips, like a spring rain that gives rise to the hope of life again, and again. They moved my head on a soft pillow and the feeling of safety was getting stronger and stronger.

“Oliver, how is my Oliver? Does anyone know anything about him?”

I was desperately calling for him, for my sun, for the man I loved. For the man that was part of me. Part of us.

“Sof”, I heard the voice of Maria, “are you fine, Sof? How could I let you get through all this without noticing what was happening…Gonzalo managed to find out! All the police is now investigating the case of that cop and his liaison with Feroil. Oliver will be soon brought to Javea. His state is…Sof, you are alive, both of you. That is what matters. We will put things right! He will remain for a while in Madrid under observation . When you also recover, we will go to him, together. Now calm down and rest. You are alive, your baby must be protected.”

I qualified the optimism of Maria as a mask over the reality. To tell you now the truth, Oliver, was actually still unconscious that time, as the fear and the hits provoked him a stroke out of which he couldn’t make it yet.

The ambulance transported me to the Jesus Pobre Hospital, so I could get through checkups and conclude whether or not my pregnancy was affected by that event. The next days implied such a tremendous care for every single aspect of my health, with a psychologist helping me to get over the images of torture that were hunting me, stealing away my peace and harmony. I was connected to Oliver through a video camera, so I could listen to his breath every moment…I was talking to him frequently, although no reaction was coming from the other side of the screen. I told him to come back, that we were not just two any longer…we were three, the infinity of life took the shape of the perfection of our baby.

That afternoon, I missed him a lot. Staring at the impersonal screen, I murmured:

“Come, love, wake up…we have so many things to do…you hear me, somewhere in the depth of your senses…I am next to you and I will always be as long as you want me. All I ask is to come back…we are waiting…”

Tears were flowing over my face, and his lack of reaction was making me nervous, knowing that I could not sit down and do nothing. I dialed in Maria’s number and with the phone on speaker I started to pack my little bag.

“Maria, I am going to Madrid. He needs me. I am fine, I will take care of me. I am driving to Valencia and then catch the plane.. I will be there before midnight. Don’t worry about me, I will call you as soon as I get there.”
“I knew you cannot just rest. Call me whenever you can. I can join you now, if you need me to. I want to know you are safe.”
“Thank you, Maria, thank you for all you’ve done. Could you look for Adhira? She must be feeling abandoned, the lady that takes care of the house is not that into dogs.”
“Count on me. Have a safe trip. Sending you hugs.”
Thinking only about him, I searched for the glimpse of optimism in my ripped off pockets. I closed my eyes, forgetting about all those heavy feelings and images of the man with the scar. I was trying to accept that life was just happening, a blend of experiences that were fulfilling us, with lessons of gratitude and kindness With the lesson of forgiveness and love.

I forgave them. Because my soul deserved peace more than anything else. Because we, all, need good and bad to understand the hidden meanings of life.

I forgave them.

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